Sex Spreadsheet Details Wife's Frustration With Husband

Oh sex spreadsheets, how you make us laugh. What is it about taking sex-related data of the sad-trombone sort and sticking it into columns that is so joyous to peruse? It must be that the spreadsheet seeks to give a sense of order and control to the data tracker, but what it tracks cannot be controlled: the human… » 7/23/14 6:45pm Yesterday 6:45pm

Let's Settle This Once and For All: Is Sex Sexy or Not?

I'm just gonna blow my load up front and work back from there: Yes, sex is sexy. Good sex is sexy. Bad sex is not sexy. You would think that this immutable truth would be obvious but it is not obvious. Nothing illustrates this more than two things on social media right now that seem to miss this essential distinction. » 7/23/14 6:00pm Yesterday 6:00pm

'IDGAF What You Think' Is Your New Feminist Battle Cry

Every day across the lands women write valiantly and cool-headedly about feminist issues with facts, impassioned arguments, research, and insight. They chronicle the daily abuses and setbacks, the advancements and breakthroughs. Then, on some days, they rest get really fucking pissed. And it is glorious. » 7/18/14 2:15pm Friday 2:15pm

Letting a Child Pick Her Sippy Cup Color Will Not Destroy Society

Apparently, there is a crisis in modern parenting. It's not that there's no paid parental leave, affordable daycare, or better-funded public schools, it's that parents are letting their children pick their own Sippy cup color, directly contributing to the utter squalor that is Modern Society. Oh No. What Will We Do. » 7/15/14 2:00pm 7/15/14 2:00pm

BREAKING: Esquire Declares 42-Year-Old Women Now Fuckable

Why, used to be, a woman at the age of 42 could hardly be glanced at, much less taken to bed and ravaged shame-free in broad daylight. No longer. Esquire has sent word across all channels that 42-year-old women have been removed from the Do Not Bang list and are no longer off-limits to respectable men. In other news,… » 7/10/14 4:00pm 7/10/14 4:00pm

White Lady Drives Mercedes to Pick Up Food Stamps; Chaos Ensues

Darlena Cunha had it so good in 2008 for a white woman from an affluent suburb with a college degree: She and her husband earned $120k, twins on the way, a house worth $250k. Then the market crashed, husband lost his (journalism) job, and the preemies needed costly formula. Their solid middle class income now clocked… » 7/10/14 1:00pm 7/10/14 1:00pm

Adorable 100-Year-Old Wishes He Maybe Banged More Friends' Wives

At 99 years young, Los Angeles resident and lawn bowling aficionado Fred Fox is feeling his age — he needs pills so he can digest food properly. He can't feel his legs. His feet are all tingly. He has to piss every two hours through the night. But none of that adds up to the regret of wondering if he maybe should've… » 7/06/14 5:15pm 7/06/14 5:15pm

How to Feel About Your Significant Other's Celebrity Crushes

Attraction is a mystery. Nothing makes sense and even science doesn't know. Case in point: Eventually we must all offer up our celebrity crushes to our significant other and stand there, naked and vulnerable, to be judged for them. And nothing is healthier than giving someone the permission to mock your taste in… » 7/06/14 1:30pm 7/06/14 1:30pm

Always Ad About 'Like a Girl' Taunt Will Make You Cry Like One

We all know the true test of awesomeness comes down to three skills: Running, throwing and fighting. Doing any of these activities while appearing to be female is cause for mocking, according to all-star world champion experts in those divisions, AKA, boys. » 7/01/14 7:00pm 7/01/14 7:00pm

Bridesmaids Flashing Ass Is the Hot New Wedding Photo Trend

Forget about lifting the veil — lift the dress! That is the insane logic applied to this alleged trend of getting the entire bridal party to lift their dresses and stick out their asses for a phun photo op. If this is a real thing, might I suggest that it is the duckface of bridal photo. Except, you know asses. » 6/26/14 6:15pm 6/26/14 6:15pm

Bummer: We Will Never Really Know if Men Prefer Hourglass Figures

Don't pack up your worry beads just yet: Seems like we will never actually find out if the hourglass figure is the officially ideal body type for women or not according to any men who are willing to answer. Studies are mostly sure, but not definitive. Even 40 men in Poland in a recent study could not confirm for… » 6/25/14 7:10pm 6/25/14 7:10pm