Attention whores are the Rodney Dangerfields of the world: They get no respect. It's not hard to see why. They hurl themselves at the spotlight and writhe pathetically in its ethereal glow, all but begging us — and sometimes outright begging us — to look at them, no matter how awkward, how painful, how sad, how pitiful. We get to have it both ways, too: We look, we linger, and then we play judge and jury. Then they get all invaded-feeling and just want some normal peace and quiet. I didn't ask for this! HA, we say, HA! Because they always come back. BTW, the people we label this way are also mostly women.
Another day, another opportunity to think about how much space you, as a woman, take up. That's how it feels when you can't throw a fat-burning supplement without hitting a visual about the losing of the weight or the gaining of the weight, and who gained what, how they look, how they lost it, and how you can, too. You can't control these images, but you can control the narrative in your own head. So the next time you get yet another message about weight that implies or outright demands that you consider your own, try thinking these things instead:
Everyone's a liar. It's unavoidable. Right? Of course, there are lies and there are LIES. At least, that's what we are told. Putting it that way makes it seem like there is some kind of clear distinction to be made, doesn't it? There isn't. People tell you growing up that there are "white lies" — things you say to make people feel better — and that those are A-OK lies, lies of kindness. And then there are the other kinds of lies, the bad kind, which are not OK. But even that's a lie!
What to Expect When You're Expecting to Cohabitate
Living with someone offers many of the same emotional benefits of marriage. It also offers most of the same headaches. So expect the worst! Expect the best! Those are the only two attitudes you can really count on when you move in with someone.
Nightmares About Your Partner? They Actually Affect Your Relationship
You already know this: Say one dark and stormy night, you have a weird/bad dream where your partner is not only doing something insanely shitty, like having sex with your best friend right in front of you, but is also laughing maniacally as you weep tears of shock/deep devastation. The next morning you look over at…
Breaking: There's One Instance Where It's Actually OK to be Kinda Fat —…
Can you imagine modern, celebratory images of women with protruding bellies and expanded thighs, meant to cue reverence for their deeply lived experiences, childbearing, or affection for confections? Snort. That's because for some kooky reason, when we talk about empowerment and women it involves shrinking us down to…
A Primer on What Sex Does (And Doesn't) Do To Your Vagina and Butthole
You can't judge a book by its cover, and you can't judge a woman's sexual activity by one look at her vag or butthole. But if you ever wondered exactly how misinformed people are about vaginas and buttholes and what they do and do not do during or after or because of sex and/or childbirth, look no further than this…
The Choose Your Own Adventure Guide to Dealing With a Breakup
When it comes to getting over a breakup, you can be a paragon of badassery, restraint, high-roadism and all-around transcendence, or you can be a mopey trainwreck who lies around feeling like shit, trudging the slow road to recovery in real time. But like everything in the world now, if it's all too much to handle,…
Your Six Favorite New Pop Songs to Get Ready to This Saturday Night
Saturday nights are for going out into the world and finding adventure. They are for being young and alive, for perfecting the smokey eye, for getting your hair twisted just so, for wearing the most daring thing you own, and ultimately, for giving into the possibility of what your life could be if your life was the…
Is There Any Such Thing As a 'Good' Way to Get Dumped?
Getting dumped is the shittiest of the shit. After all, someone you really like, or possibly even love, has just told you that the last thing they want to keep looking at is your dumb face. Or maybe you already can't stand the fucker — it still sucks when they beat you to the finish line. And this is why it's no…
